FAIL

Why even go to the gym??
(Source)

The art of stone balancing

I would never have the time or patience to perfect something like this.

(Source)

Thats a good question

Cuz somethings are just better left unsaid (Source)

More Chuck Norris

1. When a tsunami happens, it’s because Chuck Norris has been swimming laps in the ocean.
2. Chuck Norris poops light sabers.
3. Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw. But he holds it backwards.
4. Chuck Norris likes his coffee like he likes his women: ground up, packed in a burlap sack, and thrown over the back of a donkey.
5. Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.
6. Chuck Norris’s belly button is actually a power outlet.
7. Camels have a hump because Chuck Norris needed a place to store his kills.
8. Chuck Norris has a beautiful singing voice. Unfortunately, the sound of it would melt the average human brain.
9. Chuck Norris has a pet kitten – every night for a snack.
10. On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
11. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
12. When Chuck Norris vomits, wealthy people scavenge it for food. Too bad for them Chuck Norris never vomits.
13. If Chuck Norris were a ballet dancer, he’d strangle you gracefully with his tutu. And then himself.
14. Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.
15. Our founding fathers originally decreed a strict separation between Chuck Norris and state. Chuck Norris eliminated them.
16. The only thing Chuck Norris fears is Chuck Norris.
17. Chuck Norris uses staples as hair gel.
18. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
19. Even Chuck Norris can’t believe nobody Chuck Norrised this guy a long time ago.

Yall know how much i love Chuck Norris Facts (Source)

That it is soooo not what you think it is.

They are definitely not “ducks”, nor do they have any relation to “geo”-logy. In fact, they seem alien enough to be “from Mars” and, for all I know, possess a malign intelligence.

They are found mostly around Pacific Coast of the US and Canada, and in Japan they seem to serve as inspiration for “manga” of certain tentacled variety…….Geoduck – The Most Strangest Species.

That is so bizzare. When i first saw it i was like there is no way in possible hell that that is an animal. Lo and behold it is.

Art of Danial Conway

This is very creative. You have to have a wild imagination to think up some stuff like this. That’s crazy.
(Source)

Steam Machine Bio Mech Elbow Tattoo

It doesn’t even look like it is even humanly possible for someone to sustain the pain that is involved with creating a tattoo of this magnitude. I don’t have the kahunas for this…

Well i don’t have kahunas anyway considering im a chick but yall get what im saying.
(SOURCE)

Umbrella ella ella ella A!

LightDrops Umbrella: with Rain-Powered LED Glow | StyleCrave | The Lifestyle Guide for the Modern Man..

Coolest umbrella ever!

DefineTime1

DefineTime1.

Increase your vocabulary with this fun game. You will be suprised how much you learn

Epic Fail

Weird, Weird Gifts

Why again would i want my cookies in the shape of a fetus??

Give the gift of nothing. I am going to give this to somebody. This is funny. I would be pissed!

Why?? Why would i buy underwear that is made to fit 2 people? Why do i need to wear my underwear WITH somebody? Who thought of this S?

Find more crazy gifts here……

Look-A-Likes

Do you know what’s funny??? THIS.

Whoever put together this compiliation of sheer madness was sheer genius! I mean these people really look like their counterparts set be side them. It only gets better. Look at more here…..

Kid Busts Her Face

Damn that had to hurt. Look how much you fail….

(Source)

EDIT: WordPress trippin so here is the link  Worst.Rope Swing. Ever.

Photoshopping Hilarity

This is some of the best photoshopping i have ever seen. If i didn’t know any better and wasn’t a movie junkie, i wouldn’t be able to even tell that this stuff is soo altered!

(Source)

More Chuck Norris “Facts”

-Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

-When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

-What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris’ victims before they died? His shoe.

-Chuck Norris once showed up at Google and demanded that they rename their search engine “Chuck Norris.” When they refused, Chuck roundhouse kicked Google in the face, transforming it’s bruised remains into Google Dark.

Found it here

Super Obama World

WTF?!??? Who did this??? Is this real?! I can’t believe that somebody actually took the time out of their day to make this S. I have to say that Obama could single handedly be the most famous prez we have ever had.

And you know what the saddest thing in all this is…. some of you that are looking at this right now acutally want’s to play this game. Well who am I to deprive you.. Here you go

The Joker Gets and Oscar

Ohh look what i found.. i think its quite creative don’t you.

If you saw The Dark Knight, you’d know that this is so fitting why???

Because Heath Ledger rocked the shit outta of that movie! That’s why!

Here’s where i found it.

An Oxy MORON

So how are we supposed to do both of them at the same time?

(Source)

Wouldn’t want to live on this street

Do you know how funny that s is! Wouldn’t it be ironic to drive on that street it and it was actually happening.

(Source)

Interesting Secrets

Axel Erlandson 1884 – 1964

Erlandson started as an alfalfa farmer and started grafting and shaping tree trunks as a hobby. He would later over a period of decades train trees to grow into shapes of his own design. He experimented with birch, ash, elm and weeping willows, making loops, hearts, chairs, spiral staircases, zigzags, rings, birdcages, towers, picture frames and ladders. Erlandson found his trees to be a popular amusement and decided to create his “Tree Circus”. Erlandson would not tell anyone the secrets of his techniques and would carryout his graftings behind screens to protect against spies. Erlandson died in 1964 along with his amazing secret procedure used to propagate his trees.

Interesting Fact: In 1985, after the Tree Circus went out of business the trees were bought by millionaire Michael Bonfante and were transplanted in his amusement park Gilroy Gardens in Gilroy, California.

9 “Jerome”1840 – 1912

On Sept. 8, 1863 a fair-skinned stranger believed to be in his 20s was found by two fishermen at Sandy Cove in Digby County Canada. Both of the man’s legs had been freshly amputated and a jug of water and some bread had been placed nearby. The man was unable or unwilling to speak and is said to have uttered no more than two or three words after being found. One of the words was thought to have been Jerome and he was soon given that name. Jerome was filled with rage when certain words were spoken which led many to believe Jerome was carrying some kind of secret that he was not allowed to say. Jerome conducted himself with dignity and when offered money he would appear humiliated. There are many theories to who Jerome really was but no story has ever been proven. Jerome died April 19, 1912.

Interesting Fact: Jerome continues to be part of the collective psyche of the community where he was found. A residence for the handicapped has been named after him, songs have been written about him and he has also been depicted in paintings and a film.

8 The Female Stranger1793 – 1816

During the fall of 1816 in Alexandria Virginia two people, a man and his wife walked into the Gadsby’s Tavern Hotel. The woman was ill and it was thought she was suffering from Typhoid fever. The woman’s condition continued to deteriorate despite being attended by one of Alexandria’s doctors. The husband then summoned the doctor and hotel staff and even the owner’s wife to the room to ask a very unusual request: He asked that everyone present swear an oath never to reveal their identities. All agreed and each took the secret to the grave. Several days after the oath was taken the Female Stranger died and to this day no one knows their identity. Before disappearing, her husband commissioned an extravagant headstone and buried her at St. Paul’s Cemetery in Alexandria Virginia.

Interesting Fact: The engraving on the headstone reads:

To the Memory of a
FEMALE STRANGER
whose mortal sufferings terminated
on the 14th day of October 1816
Aged 23 years and 8 months.
This stone is placed here by her disconsolate
Husband in whose arms she sighed out her
latest breath and who under God
did his utmost even to soothe the cold
dead ear of death.
How loved how valued once avails thee not
To whom related or by whom begot
A heap of dust alone remains of thee
Tis all thou art and all the proud shall be
To him gave all the Prophets witness that
through his name whosoever believeth in
him shall receive remission of sins.
Acts.10th Chap.43rd verse

7 The Leather Mancirca 1839 – 1889

The Leather Man was a wandering vagrant who traveled in an endless 365-mile circle between the Connecticut and Hudson rivers. He was Fluent in French but communicated mostly with grunts and gestures and dressed in crudely stitched leather from his hat to his shoes. He picked up cigar butts along his way and gratefully accepted offerings of fresh tobacco or cigars that townsfolk would give him as he walked silently through their villages. When asked of his background he would abruptly end the conversation. He was so reliable in his rounds that people would have extra food ready for him at a certain time every 34 days. It is unknown how he earned money, although one store kept a record of his order: “one loaf of bread, a can of sardines, one-pound of fancy crackers, a pie, two quarts of coffee, one gill of brandy and a bottle of beer.” After a blizzard in March 1889 the Leather Man’s body was found in his Saw Mill Woods cave in Sing Sing, NY. He died from cancer of the mouth most likely due to tobacco use. His bag was found next to him and contained leather working equipment such as scissors, awls, wedges, a small axe and a small prayer book which was in French.

Interesting Fact: The Leatherman’s tombstone reads, “Final resting place of Jules Bourglay of Lyons, France, “The Leather Man”. However the story published in the newspaper that claimed to know his real name was later retracted. According to researchers his identity still remains unknown.

6 Arne Beurling 1905 – 1986

Arne Beurling was a Swedish mathematician and professor of mathematics. In 1940 the mathematician broke the German code used for strategic military communications. This accomplishment is considered by many to be one of the greatest achievements in the history of cryptography. Using only teleprinter tapes and cipher text, he deciphered the code that the Germans believed impossible to crack in just two weeks. Beurling created a device that enabled Sweden to decipher German teleprinter traffic passing through Sweden from Norway on a cable. When Beurling was asked how he broke the code he replied, “A magician does not reveal his secrets”.

Interesting Fact: Beurling code breaking allowed Swedish authorities to know about Operation Barbarossa (The codename for Nazi Germany’s invasion of the Soviet Union) before it occurred. ( Continue Reading Top 10 Fascinating Secrets Taken To The Grave…..)

I found this article on StumbleUpon and felt that it was Rumage worthy. I love articles about secrets and stuff. Especially historical secrets. Don’t ask me why, but i could deal with reading just that type of stuff for the rest of my life.

This is NOT a wig!

Okay people there is a major difference between someone wearing a wig, and something put something on their head THAT LOOKS LIKE ITS A PIECE OF THEIR SCALP. On top of that, its disposable! It just looks nasty. LOOK AT IT!

“Our disposable hair systems arrive 100% ready-to-wear with super strong Pro Flex tape (or Supertape if you prefer) already attached. You’ll get 30 days of extended wear, after that just tear it off and throw the whole unit away!”

DAMN that’s not appealing! (Source)

Chuck Norris is the TIHS!

Because you can’t help but love this guy and that facts that come with him. Here are some Chuck Norris facts.

1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no ‘ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’s computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Child with low expectations in life

WOW get this child some better parents! Quick.

Source: FAIL BLOG

Twilight has taken away all teenage intelligence

Or so the guys over at In One Ear….Out the Other seem to think. Maybe they are right ya know? Maybe Twilight is bringing back the whole “I’m-in-love-with-a-vampire” kick.

Here’s just a sample of the post…i lol’d

During my Thanksgiving break, I read all four books, one of which totals over 700 pages, in order to figure out why exactly these books have risen in such popularity (I am still completely baffled). Just the simple fact that I was able to breeze through these books indicates the serious amount of editing needed by these pieces of literary dogshit. The author is extremely overindulgent in describing the day to day romances and conversations between not only her two “star crossed” lovers but everyone else around them. It is seriously like listening to a 12 year old talk about her day and who said what in gym class, biology and OMG do you think he likes me.

WOW! Just tear up the author y don’t cha! Although,It’s a very enlightening post. Read it here.

edit: I am so sorry Kate, the person who wrote this article, for refering to you as being part of the male sex. I do apologize. I hope you can forgive me .

A guy couldn’t have written a post this good because we all know that guys suck at writing and women rock at it. Thank you i just had to say that

Mario Mural

A kid decided that he was going to make a mural out of push pins. So he made a Mario mural. Impressive kid. Impressive.

But im not gonna talk about how this kid apparently has too much time on his hands

Source

I’ll Search For You!

Hi and welcome to Rumage. And no its not just another wordpress blog…. Why is this here you  ask?

Well thats where Rumage comes in. You want it… Ill find it.

Ill search it for you but let it be known that my services are not free. Until then i will entertain you with WEB 2.0 junk that i find around the net. Enjoy